I am trying to figure out if it really is in my best interest to give my all... Isn't "enough" better? "Enough" keeps me safe..."All" is risky... Not that I am afraid of risk, it's just that what's the point if my all is given in vain?
Why is it so hard for me to just give up? Why must I have so much patience? Why do I believe and have so much faith? And why is my faith based solely on abstract emotions instead of cold, hard facts? Why does it hurt so much? Why, why, why?!?!
But then again...why not? Is it because of all the challenges I am faced with that I become stronger? How strong do I need to be? I know I am not alone, and if God brought me to it, He'll get me through it...but it has been a long and difficult road... When will I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel...all I can do is just not give up hope.