here goes nothing!

I don't know why little by little I have strayed so much... I am so far away from this... from here... from now...

I love to be here... now...

but life seems to get in the way...

writing brings me to the moment... it brings me right back home... where my heart can speak freely... the truest expression of who i am... the real life me.

i feel free... free to write whatever i want... free to write the future, if i chose to...

well i do.

tomorrow i will wake up empowered... i will feel alive and excited... and i will know, that i have been blessed... it will feel like God and I just had a holy moment... we just looked each other in the eye, smiled, and thought "let's do this"

that's my prophecy. let's see if it comes true :)

hoping for the best

wow.

it has been way too long...

i am saddened because i feel i have lost so much... i feel like i gained so much in writing... and i haven't done it in months...

what is going on? where is all the emotion? where is all the feeling? where is the love?

i usually write with feelings of agave... with unconditional love for all of existence...

maybe the writing is what gave me this sensation?

before i asked, i had feelings of disappointment... not just in me... but in the whole world...

but now as i write... i am almost forced to be positive...

i have always said that i plan on living past 100 years... that plan of mine has been threatened because my mind has allowed itself to be persuaded to live in fear... in fear that the earth may shake and cause more geographical changes... in fear that the dollar may die and the country collapse... in fear that the food i've been eating could be shortening my expected life span...

but i don't want to live in fear... i want to live in peace...

there are things i cannot control... but there are also things i can...

for everything else... just gotta be prepared...